Three Ways to Help Your Child

All parents ask “What more can I do to help my child become the best he can be?”

 All parents are scared to death when told their newborn will likely not make it through the night.  My Mother and Dad were no exceptions.

During the first year of your child’s life, you are the center of his world. As the mother, you have carried this tiny human being within your womb, supplying it’s every need for entrance into this world.   As the father, you have been at your partner’s side, comforting her, choosing a name and enjoying planning the arrival of your son or daughter.

The day comes, and your dreams are about to burst into reality. But suddenly, something is wrong.  Your newborn is not placed into your arms but is instead rushed to a neonatal unit, leaving you more frightened and confused than you have ever felt in your lives.

Each passing day brings gratitude;  your baby is still alive, but you walk around with millions of questions and very few answers.  What did I do wrong?  You searched your head, trying to recount every moment of carrying your pregnancy.  You kept every doctor’s appointment; you ate right, never missed taking a vitamin.  You exercised, and dreamed of giving birth to a beautiful, healthy child.

Every newborn needs great care, but your little one needs more specialized care and handling.  You soon learn how to feed and attend to your child’s condition, and you do everything the doctors, nurses, therapists have instructed.

There are many things you as a parent can do to help your son or daughter progress that no one else can do.   Simple things costing very little financial burden can help your child reach goals.

Sleep tapes are a great way of helping your youngster gain self-confidence in hs ability to achieve the best his physical condition will allow.

Studies, such as the one done by Sid Kouider at the Ecole Normale  Supérieure in Paris, and his colleagues found that our brains are as active when we are asleep as when we are awake and capable of acting upon given concepts.

This means that no matter how damaged a brain is, it is still open to accepting positive suggestions, especially when drifting off or already asleep.  Unencumbered by grown-up issues, children’s brains are like sponges, ready and capable of soaking up all the positive reinforcement given to them.

When positive concepts are repeated over and over night after night, the brain translates these ideas to the body.

Sleep tapes can be found on the internet offering a variety of topics, anything from improving inner and outer health to positive reinforcements for champion bowlers.

Your voice is the best

The best way to help your child accept positive suggestions during sleep is to record a tape yourself.

Before birth, your baby knew your and your husband’s voice feeing your love and the comforting, safe sound of your words, sensing you were a safe, positive environment for growth and fulfillment of all of his needs.

Listening to your voice at night will sooth and help the things you say to be absorbed and translated, into action when your child is awake.

My Dad made the tapes.  I   loved his voice.   They relaxed me, and I believed everything he told me.  They became my bedtime stories that would come true.

At first, they were filled with concepts he wanted for my future; health, strength, a great unconditional love for myself and others, a great desire for knowledge, and the ability to learn quickly and easily.

It worked. Within a year, I went from a third-grade reading level to eighth-grade level.  The following fall I enter a regular high school, only a year older than my peers.

At fifteen, Dad encouraged me to write my night tapes.  We sat for hours deciding what to write and taping it.   How we giggled and joked when I tried to taped it. I couldn’t understand half of what I reordered, but Dad got every single word.  I know it was the prelude to my love of writing.

Nothing happens overnight.  In the case of sleep tapes, it’s true, but if you play the tapes three to five times a night, you will very likely notice positive results within a few weeks.

Fill your home with music and your heart will heal

Every living plant, animal, and human being respond to sounds, internal and external and each sound vibrates at  different frequencies   Our universe is composed of an infinite number of sounds constantly stimulating our sense of hearing.

Noises such as traffic, chatter, and phone ringing are giving off Bata waves at a rate of fourteen to twenty hertz per second.  This speed causes our brains to send different chemicals to our bodies.   If the sound we hear is too harsh, our bodies react in a negative manner. We walk around feeling tense, have stomach aches, and are worried and depressed.

When we are doing something we love, being creative, and happy, our brain is experiencing alpha waves at eight to thirteen hertz.  At this speed, the chemicals have a positive effect on our health.

Listening to music with a pulse of about sixty beats per minute can shift the human consciousness from the beta state to the alpha range, enhancing alertness and enabling the brain to release Dopamine.  This natural chemical helps the body to relax and heal.

Dopamine affects our pleasure center, allowing us to enjoy our favorite melodies.   Your child will benefit by listening to happy music. If your son daughter is deaf or hard of hearing, place them where they can feel the melody and the beat. Their body will respond to the movement and the vibrations of the music.

While listening to our favorite music, our pain tolerance increases due to the release of Endorphins from the brain.  When we feel pain or stress our brain immediately sends out endorphins to the affected area of our bodies.

Music being played before bedtime or during physical/occupational therapy sessions helps tightened muscles to relax, easing movements needed in performing the exercise. Therapy is more productive done to soft music.

I grew up in a home alive with musical notes.  Dad and mom loved to dance.  A night rarely went by without my parents either jigger bugging or tangoing across the floor.

Daddy played the Flamingo guitar.  He knew it wasn’t my taste, but my Rock and Roll wasn’t his.

Studies have shown that different types of music send specific chemicals down to our bodies.  Folk music releases Serotonin, a neurotransmitter helping our emotions.

Jazz and R&B can release either Serotonin or Norepinephrine, both a mood enhancer.

Classical music from the great composers fills the heart, body and soul with Norepinephrine or Dopamine allowing us to relax and experience theta range brain waves. Mozart, Handel, Chopin, and Debussy always gave me a sense of comfort, good will, and a sense of security.

Enjoying Music Together

Each individual has a preference for the type of music that sets their souls soaring and their body responding happily.  Play different types of music for your child.   No matter how young or what your child’s disabilities are, fill your home with music.  Discover what makes him smile, kick his feet or clap his hands.

Create family time with everyone participating.  Your child will feel love as the whole family listens to his/her favorite music.

Dance with him.  If your son or daughter can walk, perform different moves with him. Swing your arms, kick your legs, and have fun.  If he has trouble balancing or is confined to a wheelchair, pick him up in your arms, dance around with him, letting him feel the beat and the rhythm.  Show him the music is alive.

Give your youngsters something they can make noise with, a pot and spoon, a toy drum.  It doesn’t matter what it is as long as he can make ‘his’ noise with it.

When I was very young, Mom tied small bells on my wrists and ankles encouraging me to move.  Lol. I was a natural when it came to shaking them!

There are so many ways for you and your child to enjoy music together. Sing his favorite songs with him.  Watch his reaction to different sounds and types of music.  Do certain melodies help him relax, smile, and respond to the world around him.  Do other kinds of music make him anxious and uncomfortable?

The magic of music not will only shower many benefits upon all your children as it brings your family together, it will give you, as parents, a sense of being somewhat in control of your children’s health and welfare.

It will lift your spirits, and you’ll feel more balanced within yourself.

A picture is worth more than 1000 words

No saying is truer than this one when it comes disabled kids

Remember, your son or daughter who was born with a disability doesn’t realize he can’t do things like other children.  Until exposed to the outside judgements, all isjudgmentsh his world.

It is your role as parents to help him accept these differences in a way that it instills confidence, and yes, pride in who he is and his accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

Never tell him that he can’t be a doctor or a singer.  Dreams are vital fo the healthy development of your child.  Even if your son or daughter dreams of becoming a baseball or ballet dancer are unrealistic, do not quash. it

Encourage and enhance all dreams.  My parents did.  At age five, I was strapped into braces up to my chest.  I loved ice skating more than anything.   My Father knew this was impossible given my condition, but each day, in every way, he helped me build my dream.

Dorothy Hamill was my favorite skater.  I longed to be like her.  Dad helped me cut out every picture her we could find in newspapers/magazines and plaster them all over my room.  He bought me a bright red skating outfit and a pair of ice skate which we hang on my bed post.  They were the first things I saw in the morning and the last things I saw at night.   We visited the local skating rink, and Dad held me in his arms (he was an expert skater) and skated around with me, so I could feel the movements and feel the wind rush through my hair.      And I was so proud of my Dorothy Hamill haircut

I asked Dad on the day I got my Master’s degree in Special Education, why he bothered to go through all that for a dream he knew, could never come true?

He looked at me with his big brown twinkling eyes and said, “I love you.   I knew you wouldn’t ever be a skater, but I wanted to give you the self-confident to strive for any dream you wanted.”

Give your child the gift of dreams and confidence to do be his best. Don’t limit them with your fears and doubts. Don’t worry about dreams that won’t come true.   Living with a disability has a way of changing each dream into a goal that can come into reality.  Every dream that doesn’t come true leads to the possibility the next one will.

myfaceSunday Erickson, was born with cerebral palsy. According doctors, much of her brain was destroyed at birth. Despite these dire predictions, she obtained BA in Social Anthropology, and a Master’s in Special Ed and Rehabilitation. She taught United Cerebral Palsy in Ft. Lauderdale, and is a freelance writer and is the author of TU-TU MUCVH.


References Study: Performing Music Gets Us High/ Scott Douglas/ Jan 1 5, 2013/Health Is listening to negative lyrics or “angry” music really harmful for my child?/Douglas Gentile developmental psychologist  are the advantages of sleep tapes/charles moore tyapes/susan castle sic and development: musical ways to engage developmentally disabled children ten relaxations techniques for child facts, what does serotonin do?/by james mcimtosh/ed by helen webberley the brain and learning disabilities/copyrighted by marcus simmons/2008 these scripts to help children cope with  anxiety and  stress/dr tara zuckerman, phd/psychologist  for children , young adults and adolescents

ttps:// what age does a child-individual becomes conscious/aware of hi s decision?/Mateusz Szumala/organizational psychologist with a clinical twist   Children/ Ages & stages/ S. Eccles, Ph.D., is professor of psychology, education, and women’s studies at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor2.pdf parentd deal with the fact  that their child has a \disabilty/

William C. Healey/CEC Today Vol.3 No. 5 – November 1996 The Council for Exceptional Children